how not to play with your children…

He who helped create them took Twin girl and BB out for a walk yesterday to allow me some peace and quiet to sort out our tea. I tried to focus on peeling and chopping vegetables, but before long I found myself wielding a chipped wooden sword fighting a short shaggy haired pirate who was armed with glow in the dark light sabre.

Abandoning the carrots I pivoted on my heels and jabbed the air mercilessly around my son shouting “ya’ha ya scoundrel, trying to poach my veggies are ye?”

After we jousted twice round the lounge, over the sofas, under the table and into the kitchen my little pirate friend announced he was bored of carrot stealing and riding the waves on the Jolly Rodger and was going to die at the hand of my trusty wooden sword; but not to worry as he was coming back to life as a spy.

Whilst he lay dead on the halfway point of our stairs he requested that I hid my mobile phone and set a series of clues so his reincarnated spy self could solve a mystery and save my phone from the silent criminals that lurk in the shadows of our home.

I scurried upstairs and selected a hiding place for my HTC android behind the daffodils in the loo and I quickly wrote the word TOILET on a piece of paper and cut out each individual letter and hid them separately around the lower floor of our home.

As the short pirate took his last breath a little shaggy haired 007 took his first and I was faced with a mastermind spy standing in my kitchen ready to solve a crime.

Holding a notepad and slightly chewed pen he paced the rooms looking for letters. He looked under the sofa, on the chairs, even within the dust that lives behind the cupboard that no one moves.
Suddenly, jubilant in his expression he reached behind the photo of his dad and I marrying and grabbed a small square of paper.

“T” he exclaimed with a smile edging at his lips.

The hunt continued…

He sauntered to the newspaper basket and cried “T again; interesting.”

His eyes peeled he cruised the room looking for the next clue. His eyes fell on the fruit bowl and narrowed as he saw a tip of white hiding behind a yellow banana.

“Hmmmm,” he pondered “an I”

Then he grinned the smile of a super sleuth.

“I know it,” he declared triumphantly “I know where the phone is…”

“It’s in your TIT isn’t it mummy.”

“Where is your TIT?”

Next time we are left alone together we are playing snap…

39 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. anna tims (@ageingmatron)
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 17:33:24

    Why are other mummies so much more patient and cooperative and motherly than I am?!


  2. wibbly wobbly
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 18:00:17

    Chuckling away to myself – lovely!


  3. The Mad House
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 19:05:07

    Brazilians yesterday and tits today, what are you teaching your children!


  4. Donna@MummyCentral
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 19:13:06

    At least he doesn’t know where your tit is. Long may that continue!


  5. mothersalwaysright
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 19:30:21

    Hilarious, as ever. At least he didn’t shout “Boobies!” in the changing room at swimming while you were getting changed. He’s rather restrained really isn’t he?!


  6. melanie molloy
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 19:39:44

    ha! Love it! x


  7. Tea&Biscotti
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 20:03:00

    Funny, just read this out to my husband as he was interested in why I was laughing.. depending on how big they are, some women do actually hide their phones there! Smart boy! 🙂


  8. Jennifer Wilck
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 20:12:46

    Love it!


  9. fab40foibles
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 20:22:37



  10. sarahmumof3
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 22:00:39

    hehe how funny… but what a good spy game that is… makes note to play that with mine sometimes – avoiding all words that anograms are rude!


  11. richmondmummy
    Feb 28, 2012 @ 23:55:42

    HahahahahHa too funny – even had to read it out to Richmond Daddy who also laughed out loud x


  12. helloitsgemma
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 21:36:51

    That was almost craft? do you know that? cutting out each individual letter… clearly you are not cut out for craft in any form.


  13. Love and Enterprise
    Feb 29, 2012 @ 23:44:10

    That’s really funny and I do like your blog. Hope you don’t mind being down south too much. If it’s any consolation, I was once a southerner stuck in the north!


  14. ChocOrangeCityMum
    Mar 01, 2012 @ 13:39:12

    You are a loon – love to see the kids following in your footsteps 🙂


  15. pigletinapoke
    Mar 01, 2012 @ 13:44:58

    Doesn’t everyone keep their phone in their tit? Just you and me then! Ha ha! So funny, but look on the bright side – at least he didn’t rootle around in the toilet bowl if he’d solved the clue!


  16. Bibsey Mama
    Mar 01, 2012 @ 17:13:58

    Am TITtering at the back here.


  17. sarsm
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 08:44:54



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