Being an arse of a mother

Sometimes I can be a real arse of a mother, I shout too much, I often expect too much and sometimes the whole enormity of being mother to three small people threatens to overwhelm me. More

I am doing nothing, nothing at all……

As we climbed into bed last night, relishing the warm duvet against our cold skin I turned to he who helped create them and said ‘shall we do nothing tomorrow, have a rest day, maybe not even get dressed?’  Half asleep already he turned and replied ‘yes’ and then wandered off to dreamland. More

The lies I was told….

Having children has been an eye opener for me.  Finding out Santa was a fabrication in my youth was hard to deal with but really some of the lies I have been told since then regarding children are borderline obscene.

 Take this popular urban myth; ‘your life will be richer when you have your own family’ More

Breastfeeding: Yes I still am…..

Yes I still am…. 

Not that it really relates to you, but yes I am.

Whilst I appreciate you may think she is too old, I am of the opinion that she isn’t and she seems to agree. More

Chicago Town Takeaway Pizza: Teaching the kids to cook……

I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy food.

I do try to hide the fact that I am a poor cook. More

The Breakfast Club

Finding a school for twin boy and twin girl was stressful.  Not only did it involve a lot of Ofsted reading  for myself and he who helped create them but we also had to try, quite unsuccessfully, to understand SATs. More

Sugar Baby…..


Just the very word tastes delicious on my tongue.  It rolls around getting caught between syllables and leaves a sensation of heaven in my thoughts.

Twin boy and girl weren’t allowed to taste the fruit of the cocoa tree till they were at least three.  In fact I remember at their first birthday party watching a family member spear a piece of cake and wave it frighteningly near twin girls mouth.  I managed to vault three small people, clear an armchair and cry, ‘noooooo’ whilst flailing my arms around madly More

Pass on the love….

We packed up some sweets, crisps, fruit and lots of other stuff,

and headed out with our teddies to pass on the love. 

We decided to give some of our toys away,

and give them to Oxfam to send to other children who live far away. More

Incontinence: It’s a good thing

A good friend of mine texted me today to tell me her son had christened the potty for the first time.  I hasten to add her that she was also texting to say hi and wasn’t just regaling me with more poo stories.  However, whilst remaining proud of her adorable little lad for firmly ‘dropping one’ in the pot; it was all I could do to not text back shouting; 

“Noooooo don’t do it.  Potty training is the devils work.”


Who’s the Daddy…..

He has been around since the children were born in fact if you inspect his right shoulder you can see indents from my teeth from BB’s labour; he has done the night feeds, he wiped his fair share of dirty bums. 

He struggles with feeding, he dislikes the mess; watching BB squeeze a tomato between thumb and forefinger makes him shudder visibly.  The twins drive him slightly deranged at times and at others he marvels in their intelligence and loves to play in their games. More

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Copyright © Jane Blackmore and Northernmum, 2010-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane Blackmore and Northernmum with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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