my dancing demons…

It’s amazing to realise that something that was horrific the first time can become normal by the third.

We are at the half way point; BB has lived for six weeks in spica. She has coped incredibly and has challeng More

Defining limitations…..

Today tasted like chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and raspberry juice squirted on the top.   When BB had her operation and was fastened into cast for three long months part of my world turned grey.  I could only see what she couldn’t do, I saw water that she couldn’t swim in, I saw parks she couldn’t play in, I saw a life defined by her limitations and it broke my heart ever so slightly. More

Living the life la spica…..

My smallest child never ceases to amaze me; less than four weeks ago I clung to the side of her hospital cot with eyes that itched with tears watching my pale little girl undergoe a blood transfusion to slow her pounding heart rate after she underwent major surgery to correct her hip dysplasia.  Less than four weeks I lay on my sofa bed beside her cot with my eyes wide open wondering about how she More

Getting arms like Jodie Marsh…

Nine weeks and three days remaining…

Not that I am counting.

BB and the spica cast are coming along nicely, life is slowly returning to normal again, well as normal as life in our house can ever be. More

Sniffing each other’s bottoms

Thursday night is swimming night.  The whole evening tends to be a mad panic from the moment the school bell chimes right through to when the last child finally stops rabbi ting on and closes their eyes and drifts off to the land of nod. More

The next Krypton Factor Challenge is…..

Week one is done, with only eleven to go.

I’d like to say it has been easier than I expected. I’d like to say BB is coping really well with a transition into a half body cast.  I’d also like to say my diet is going really well and I am well en route to a size 10 again.

However, that would all be total bollocks. More

A long old week.



It’s been the longest week, More

day 3: bay 14

One thing they never tell you about hospitals is that they exist outside of time. One minute in the real world is about a day in hospital land; so consequently BB and I have been living in Bay 14 for years and years. The nurses must take some kind of drug to protect themselves from the time tear that occurs in here as they all look younger, slimmer and much fresher than I do. More

Gin rummy and a dangling boob…

I am hovering somewhere between the land of nod and the world of sheer exhaustion. Luckily for me my valentines date is right with me riding the wave of knackeredness. More

Operation Day: every cloud…

The silver lining in the cloud.

BB’s operation was in medical terms, a success. I am not sure BB would describe it as such but medically she should have a happy hip in years to come.

The day started at four am and finished at nine pm; my daughter handled herself with a gentle grace that made me swell with pride. She beamed at the anaesthetic and floated off to sleep with a smile tingling on her lips. She awoke with a chatter and regaled the nurses with gibberish tales of her drug induced dreams, pausing only to shed a tear when she saw her mummy arrive.

She is scared, I see her fear in her eyes when we lift her from the bed, this new weight binds her legs and she is too little to really understand.

She is brave, she has coped with every wire, every probe, every check. She has yanked at my heart when she has smiled her thanks to the team looking after her.

And did you know, when she sleeps the heart monitor shows us her heart beats about 100 times a minute. When she sleeps and we lay our lips on her forehead trying to erase her pain with a kiss her heart beats just a little bit faster.

What an incredible way for the heart to say I love you.

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