Parenting without alcohol……

I like to think I hold a relatively honest view of myself and know where my strengths and weaknesses lie.

I know that a key strength of mine is making Yorkshire pudding, I also know I am fundamentally rubbish at anything technical, like knowing how to build a website or even how to change the filter on the iron.
But the enigma for me is parenting, some days I think I am a blinding parent, and on other days I think I should have the title of mummy taken off me quicker than you can say Stacey Solomon.

It’s just bloody hard work at times no matter how many sodding parenting books you read.
Where was the book that told you how to deal with a screaming child that is having a meltdown because her brother looked at her with a stare that “hurt her cheek”.

Where is the parenting guidelines for when your daughter tries to sniff her brothers bottom in a shared changing room.

And for the love of god please someone tell me how we mothers are supposed to cope with the very act of mothering whilst simultaneously trying not to drink wine mid week…

Does anyone know where I can submit a request for annual leave?

It is nomination time again!  Last year I was lucky enough to win the best MAD Blog about family life and this year it is time to vote again, if you enjoy reading northernmum please vote me to win in the categories you think I fit.  Nomination form is here ; takes five minutes!  Thanks x x

36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. anna tims (@ageingmatron)
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 08:37:15

    I’ve given up lager for Lent. It may be purifying my soul but it sure doesn’t do much for my character as my children will testify. The love of my children is not, alas, stimulant enough! And I don’t have a toddler in a cast to cope with. PS Irons have filters? Why didn’t you say before? Wherabouts do I find mine?


  2. mothersalwaysright
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 09:06:36

    I have no idea. If you find the tip, can you let me know about the one that says not drinking too much wine on a Friday night and waking a bit bleary eyed on a Saturday morning?


  3. scribblingmum
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 09:42:54

    Irons have filters? Oh for fecks sake.


    • janeblackmore
      Mar 17, 2012 @ 19:37:39

      mine does, I only know this because every time my mum comes to visit she tells me it needs changing – I haven;t the heart to tell her I dont even know where the filter is!


  4. Grenglish
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 12:17:01

    I also try not to drink wine mid-week although sometimes I relax the rules on a Thurs… if you find the answers to any of these parenting problems, please do let me know. If you also come across any guidelines for ‘you-gave-me-the-wrong-colour-yoghurt/cup/socks/snack-so-I-am-going-to-throw-myself-on-the-floor-and-kick-and-scream-at-the-top-of-my-lung-capacity-until-you-work-that-out-and-deliver-the-correct-colour-yoghurt/cup/socks/snack-to-me’ problem, then I’d be most interested in hearing that too 🙂


  5. Bibsey Mama (@BibseyMama)
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 13:04:08

    Sorry, what’s an iron? Am I in the wrong classroom?


  6. Older Mum (@Older_Mum)
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 13:17:02

    Heres a glass of wine … I make a mean Yorkshire too!


  7. JallieDaddy
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 14:09:04

    Speaking as a male – as I often seem to do here – looking after the twins (particularly in the 1st year, even with 2 of us at home) is the hardest job I’ve ever done.

    No sick leave, no annual leave, often difficult clients who also happen to be your bosses, long hours. And the pay could be better

    I used to get (at least) tipsy most evenings BJ (Before Jallie), & only just recently, 2 years on, have I allowed myself a beer (or even 2!) in the evenings. Just wiped me out before. But 1 or 2 is OK isn’t it?

    “title of mummy taken off me quicker than you can say Stacey Solomon”: that made me chuckle. You don’t need to be funny for a week or 2 now you know, the nominations deadline has passed 😉


  8. askandrina
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 15:18:38

    This made me laugh, sorry to tell you, but I now do wine in the week!


  9. motherscuffer
    Mar 16, 2012 @ 20:55:25

    I have to do no wine mid-week, otherwise it moves into the realms of 4pm too early for a glass? Is 4.30pm too early for the kids to go to bed? Your daughter’s comment made me laugh out loud, love it.


  10. Alex
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 12:28:12

    Last week I eeked out Saturday’s bottle of wine all the way to Wednesday (it’s ok, as long as it’s only one bottle that’s been opened)… and hey presto, Thursday Night Wine Night was upon us once more!!


  11. Jacq
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 12:31:48

    I stopped drinking mid week too as I found my thoughts straying to the half empty bottle of wine on the bench earlier and earlier each day.
    I’m working on the assumption that as long as you find yourself wondering WTF you are doing as a parent on a regular basis, you are doing something right.


  12. SAHMlovingit
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 17:57:11

    Having spent the last 9 months without any alcohol (although I may have a cheeky Bud Lite in America) passing my lips I have to say, it’s been hard. Very hard.

    The next 2 weeks can’t some soon enough…there’s a bottle with my name on it in the cupboard. I know I’ll be breastfeeding again if I can but I’m sure a quick sniff of wine won’t hurt every now and again 😉


  13. annickhollins
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 19:11:32

    What’s an iron?


  14. Helen Dalling
    Mar 17, 2012 @ 20:19:23

    A week without a midweek glass of wine is a very hard week indeed. I did it this week cos my husband was away and I thought I had better be ‘responsible’ but….oh so hard. And I have given up swearing for lent, not easy !!!!


  15. helloitsgemma
    Mar 21, 2012 @ 21:37:12

    for the love of God – can someone not sponsor us for a spa weekend!!???


  16. Perfecting Motherhood
    Mar 22, 2012 @ 04:09:35

    As a French, I may be biased but I don’t see a problem with a glass of wine any day of the week. Who sayfor weekends? Of course, I only have one glass when I have it and my bottle lasts me a long time because I tend to forget (shame on me!) that I have it…


  17. sarsm
    Mar 24, 2012 @ 08:18:51

    There are filters in irons? Could that be why mine keeps spilling white stuff on the clothes?

    I think you’re doing a great job.


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