living with disease

My grip is slipping, someone must have greased my fingers whilst I slept as my slight grasp on sanity is sliding away.

Either that or I have become the latest victim of school holidayitis.

I looked up the symptoms on google earlier. Apparently the signs to watch for are loss of patience, increase in temperature of the blood (almost to boiling point I’m told) sporadic bursts of temper followed by occasional bouts of yelling. Other side effects of this disease can include arguments with spouse over mundane matters, an un kept house and an almost obsessive addiction to going to the park.

To be fair in my part of the world this illness is spreading like an epidemic. I saw a mother close to tears in Tescos as she tried to do the weekly shop with three under ten year olds. It was obvious she had a severe case as her blood was visually boiling and her temper was out of control.

The parks are full of parents who are wondering around shouting randomly. I advise anyone who is not yet displaying symptoms of school holidayitis to stay the hell away from anywhere that has swings and slides; with the exception of public house beer gardens. It seems that for some reason the air surrounding these recreational play areas remains un contaminated.

I fear I have infected he who helped create them as well; either that or his patience has been copping off with my patience and they have legged it to Gretna Green together.

I spoke to the doctor, he can offer no cure, apparently it can take up to six weeks to shake off the ailment and it will probably get worse before it gets better. Ibruprofen and paracetamol are powerless in the face of school holidayitis.

Lock your doors, seal your windows, stay inside and pray for our swift recovery.

Keep us in your thoughts…

36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mummymummymum
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 18:10:59

    hmmmm. I seem to be suffering from all those…

    Reply

  2. PoorParenting
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 18:57:12

    Crikey. Sounds bad. Maybe narcotics would help?

    Reply

  3. Anna
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 19:13:38

    Hmmm, bugger. I display all the symptoms of school holidayitis every single day and no-one in this house is on holiday. Or at school…

    Reply

  4. Mummy Matters
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:04:59

    I knew I was coming down with something, you have hit the nail on the head! 😀

    Reply

  5. Mammasaurus
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:06:41

    Love it LOVE IT !

    Reply

  6. reluctantreferee
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:09:36

    Nothing works except wine. In large quantities. The longer school holidayitis goes on the earlier in the day you must turn to wine in order to combat it.

    I could never live in the States with their 3 month long school holidays. I’d not survive past June.

    Reply

  7. Teawithonesugarplease
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:14:37

    Ah so far I have showed no symptoms but that’s because I’m still working and not taken any time off for the summer school holidays!

    Reply

  8. butwhymummywhy
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:19:21

    Oh dear I think I may have a similar strain known as nursery school holidayitis -same symptoms smaller children. Dreadful…

    Reply

  9. Five Go Blogging
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:41:09

    Darn it. Too late. I seem to have all of those symptoms. But thanks for the reassurance that it wont last longer than 6 weeks.

    Reply

  10. Yvonne
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:00:55

    I had a severe case today and sought sanctuary in Morrisons car park after husband came home from work. 45 mins of reading The Daily Telegraph in a sound proof car away from ANYONE and I was beginning to feel a lot better.
    But tomorrow is another day, oh hell.

    Reply

  11. michelletwinmum
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:06:17

    You nutter! Are you not at work then? Or is it even that bad you are affected on the weekends?

    I have to say I am loving the holidays so far! but then my toll at home alone with all 3 kids does not start until Monday!

    Mich x

    Reply

  12. Kerry
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:16:12

    I have nursery school holidayitis that is for sure. Truly dreadful!

    Reply

  13. almost bedtime
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:17:32

    Loved your post! It really made me smile! You should be glad you don’t live in Canada or the States! We are in Vancouver and my kids have been off since the 28th June until 7th September! Even worse than that is the fact that kids don’t start kindergarten until they are 5! And this year is the first year that it is full-time! When my oldest daughter started kindergarten two years ago she went for 2 hours a day for half the year and 3 hrs a day for the second half. She didn’t start full time school until she was 6! It nearly killed me!

    Reply

  14. Zoe Hankey
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:29:07

    I have 1 day off with my 1 (who is like a heard of 30) and I can say it’s setting in. This is why I NEVER book more than 1 weeks annual leave during the Summer & I always do something. Love your blog it’s sooo funny! Once again got me laughing out loud 🙂

    Reply

  15. Helen
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 06:35:59

    I hear the symptoms can suddenly become more severe if it’s raining.

    Reply

  16. sarsm
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 10:12:42

    There are a couple of relievers – gin/wine/vodka or health spa’s that state clearly in the window ‘No Kid’s Allowed’.

    Reply

  17. suzie
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 10:44:10

    Spare a thought for me, school hols last 3 months here.x

    Reply

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Copyright © Jane Blackmore and Northernmum, 2010-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane Blackmore and Northernmum with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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