Breastfeeding: I am asking politely: please leave me alone….

When you see me shouting at my children just because I am having a rubbish day feel free to tell me to calm down.

When you see me bribe my children with chocolate feel free to suggest better ways to get them to behave well and play nicely.

When you see me “forget” to get the kids to brush their teeth at night-time because I have had enough and the bottle in the fridge is calling feel free to wave the colgate around and force my hand.

When you see me plop my children in front of the television with a film for two hours whilst I clean the house feel free to tell me to stop what I am doing and play with my babies because life is too short to dust.

I don’t always parent the best way sometimes I opt for the easy way so feel free to show me the light because like most parents I want to do what is best for my children.

But when you see me feed my almost 12 month old daughter please don’t tell me its time to give up, please don’t tell me she is too old, please don’t say we are odd, and don’t insult me by crying “bitty” in my presence.

Remember the phrase;

If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.

Thanks for reading

**By the way my little blog has been shortlisted in the MAD blog Awards; I am really flattered, if you want to help me win please click on this voting link and enter your name and email and my blog has been shortlisted in Best Mad Blog about Family life (the first one); just click ‘northern mum’   – Thanks from me, twin boy, twin girl, BB, and he who helped create them x x x

77 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mcai7td3
    May 22, 2011 @ 09:58:41

    That’s awful. I hope she chucked a rattle at their heads and hit hard!

    Reply

  2. Multiple Mummy
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:00:47

    Too bloody right! Good for you! And by the way I do all those things so you are not alone…it is survival! x

    Reply

  3. clareybabble
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:01:05

    I completely agree (and you sound just a little bit like me!). I fed my babies well past the 6mth stage and I know those opinions well. Good on you for telling them to get stuffed! xx

    Reply

  4. Claire Howie
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:03:08

    No way – who did that? I think there’d be a few expletives from me in response!

    Reply

  5. HELEN JESSUP
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:03:55

    some people need to keep their thoughts to themselves, is it really any of their business what you do!
    x

    Reply

  6. Louisa
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:15:15

    Oh dear…good on you! It’s funny how ppl (myself included) say the right thing in the wrong situations…Great post & a great reminder!

    Reply

  7. alittlewife
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:37:01

    A baby of 12 months needs milk, why does society think that automatically means bottles? Why deny them what has been nourishing them for the past year just because they are older. It infuriates me!

    Reply

  8. All for Aleyna
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:40:34

    I LOVE this. I only wish I could have breastfed longer, but Aleyna’s “special needs” made it impossible. Why is it that as soon as we announce we are pregnant, we become public property (actually criticism starts even before that – “you wouldn’t know, you’re not a mother)? And BTW, don’t the WHO and UNICEF recommend breastfeeding for 2 years?

    Reply

  9. Nat
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:43:20

    I always get YOU still breastfeeding it would appear anything past the first few days weeks in the UK is odd. Luckily no one has ever really said anything but “oh that’s to long and they don’t need it” true but the benefits are huge if people would care to educate themselves. Oh off my soapbox!

    Reply

  10. Holly
    May 22, 2011 @ 10:57:15

    Give me strength. Just tell them to bugger off. You know what’s best for your baby. People just can’t help interfering can they? Xx

    Reply

  11. PoorParenting
    May 22, 2011 @ 11:39:58

    I’m so with you on this one. I only feed Lyra at home but the looks I get if she tries to help herself in public could kill. I don’t think it’s helped by the fact that although she’s only 18m she looks 3 – but heck, at the rate she’s going she’ll still be enjoying milkies then!

    Reply

  12. mummymummymum
    May 22, 2011 @ 12:05:17

    I think its great you are still feeding. I wish I’d been able to keep it up! 🙂

    Reply

  13. Mummy_Ethal
    May 22, 2011 @ 12:14:15

    Ah bugger them darling. I BF my Eloise until her 1st birthday. I only stopped as she lost interest. If you are both still happy and loving your special quality time together then everyone else can…

    Reply

    • janeblackmore
      May 22, 2011 @ 12:40:38

      I I really do love feeding her plus I thihnk she is more fond of the boob than the actualy milk – so at least this way she is getting the milk she needs…. x

      Reply

  14. Bod for tea
    May 22, 2011 @ 12:49:50

    What on earth is wrong with people?? I fed DD until she was 15 months and would do the same again in a heartbeat. Good for you for sticking with it – ignore them!!

    Reply

  15. bloggomy
    May 22, 2011 @ 14:35:12

    Geeze what’s people’s problem? Shocked by the ignorance and attitude of others at times x

    Reply

  16. Kirsten
    May 22, 2011 @ 14:59:59

    Cripes Jane, can’t believe someone said that, that is shocking!! I’m still feeding Adelaide and will do for as long as I can! I agree, just ignore them, they are probably a) jealous that you are feeding successfully and happily, b) thick or c) both a and b! My money is on c.

    Kirsten x

    Reply

  17. Kylie Hodges (kykaree)
    May 22, 2011 @ 15:08:42

    I don’t understand people who think milk from a mummy cow is better for a one year old than milk from their own mummy.

    Sit and swivel comes to mind. Hurrumph.

    Reply

  18. Dianne
    May 22, 2011 @ 15:28:27

    Its a good job they don’t come to my breastfeeding groups we have babies a lot older than a year still feeding. I could invite the person to our teddy bears picnic for breastfeeding support week that really would give them something to talk about.

    Well done you x 😉 x

    Reply

    • janeblackmore
      May 22, 2011 @ 18:14:03

      Thanks; and to clarify the vast majority of people support me and I think people who do reference it don’t necessarily mean to be hurtful just opinionated and I am sure I have been guilty of that in my time.

      Thanks for lovely comment

      Reply

  19. Sarah
    May 22, 2011 @ 17:48:00

    I’m bfing at 10 months & even my OH says it’s time to ‘give her a bottle.’ The moron announced he was going to give her a drink of cows milk today. I told him cows milk as a drink is not before 1yr and to stay out if things he knows nothing about. His reasoning is she’ll sleep better at night. But as she wakes for reassurance and not hunger that is unlikely & I do 99% of wake up calls anyway!

    Reply

  20. TheMadHouse
    May 22, 2011 @ 18:32:51

    It is things like this that make me dispair. Isnt it time people just grew up

    Reply

  21. motherporridge
    May 22, 2011 @ 18:54:09

    that is disgraceful. I hope you squirted some at her.

    Reply

  22. Pants With Names
    May 22, 2011 @ 19:17:42

    Breast Fed my 2 elder ones until they were 1, then straight onto cows milk. Will probably do the same with No. 3.

    Could you just ignore? (although I do love motherporridge’s suggestion of squirting some at her! Genius response)

    Reply

  23. maggy, red ted art
    May 22, 2011 @ 20:59:53

    I really want to write something profound, but today nothing profound is coming out. And I would rather comment, than not comment at all. So uhm, I hope “they” leave you alone to just get on with your family life!

    Hugs to you.

    M x

    Reply

  24. Becks Reay
    May 22, 2011 @ 22:01:03

    I’m totally with you. It’s mad that someone would say ‘bitty’ about an 11 mth old feeding! I bf both my kids til they were one yr old. I stopped at that age because they could have cow’s milk as their main drink. Although I really enjoyed feeding it felt the right time for me to stop. It certainly wasn’t because I thought it wrong to feed for longer. Actually my 2nd child lost interest as well. On the night which was meant to be her last feed she didn’t want it and I was really upset because I wanted to treasure that last moment.

    I know lots of mums stop feeding for a plethora of reasons, fair enough, but why stop just because they’re 6 mths then go onto formula? I think in Europe 2 yrs is recommended. It’s best for mum and baby after all.

    I did a blog post a while back – well, it was a bit of a rant – in repsonse to the ‘Is Breast Best’ documentary.

    I also loved all the comments you’ve got for this post too!
    Becks (Mrs R) x

    Reply

  25. Heather in Lapland
    May 23, 2011 @ 05:26:21

    If someone said any of those things to me I would feel compelled to punch them in the nose, never mind the last one.

    Reply

  26. james
    May 23, 2011 @ 06:18:45

    One from the other side, from a dad of two. Totally agree with your post, but it reminded me of something I wanted to rant about when both of ours were born. Yep, natural is best. Yep, the evidence seems sound. BUT. It’s not possible for every mum and baby – so why does every GP surgery, hospital waiting room and healthcare professional try to make a mother feel like a failure if she doesn’t breastfeed? From what I can tell, that average new mum is close to breaking point for the first few months anyway, without a professional-grade guilt trip being laid on too!

    Ahhh, thanks. Much better now.

    Reply

    • janeblackmore
      May 23, 2011 @ 06:52:50

      James I completly agree, when my twins were born I was told I couldn’t breastfeed and felt utterly let down by the healthcare world; on one hand a nurse told me to stop trying and then the health visitor would ask why I wasn’t.

      Ironically as my third child proves I can breastfeed but needed a bloody good midwife to get me started!

      The whole breast bottle debate is fraught with controversey and I for one think its about time people left mums (and dads) alone!

      Thanks for the rant 🙂

      Reply

  27. Circus Queen
    May 23, 2011 @ 15:56:33

    It’s not their boob or their baby but somehow it’s their problem?

    Reply

  28. Louise
    May 23, 2011 @ 18:31:52

    What an ignorant thing to say, well done you for feeding this long. Ironic isn’t it, people get criticised by NHS for not breast feeding yet British society seems to frown on it. I once breast fed in Liberty, as they didn’t have anywhere suitable gave me a seat on ‘shop floor’. It’s natural, normal and frankly no one elses business! (furious for you)

    Reply

  29. Kerry
    May 23, 2011 @ 20:14:53

    Oh my god that is awful how horrible xxx I do all of those things too don’t worry xx

    Reply

  30. Mamabearuk
    May 23, 2011 @ 20:36:59

    I am still bf at 9 months with no immediate plans to stop and I get the bitty comments from the men in my family, I know its only a joke to them but it does freak me out that it springs into their mind when shes only 9 months, think its a generation thing. On a lighter note my friends baby same age pulled down her costume today in the pool and started feeding…v funny but peoples faces were a picture, needless to say she got out to the side of the pool to let her finish

    Reply

  31. Amy Le Pelley
    May 24, 2011 @ 21:07:16

    Still breast feeding at 16 months……. I also do all the things listed. Firstly if you fancy coming to a breast feeding flash mob in London in June I have attached the link http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_154794384577591&ap=1. Secondly, if you fancy a good rant about extended breastfeeding try this linkhttp://community.babycentre.co.uk/groups/a3858655/lactivists. I also have a very good badge which you can flash at anyone who makes similar comments in the future, I will pop it in the post for you this week. xxx

    Reply

  32. Jenben
    May 24, 2011 @ 22:05:01

    I am bf my 3 old son at going to sleep times. I’ve just bought the ‘Still bf, still none of your business’ badge from the above mentioned site.

    Reply

  33. Ceri
    May 24, 2011 @ 22:13:14

    I fed my dd until she was 4 and have heard it all! I found it more difficult to ignore the comments when they came from family.
    I’m now bf my 6 week old and am sure that in time the comments will start again.
    Loving all the comebacks!

    Reply

  34. ChocOrangeCityMum
    May 26, 2011 @ 15:18:27

    I love this – except on the cleaning one it should be “feel free to clean up for me”

    Do people seriously look at you funny for feeding a 12 month old – what is wrong with them? I could understand it for older kids (maybe 3+) although I don’t condone it even then but surely 12 months is very normal?

    I fed the Boy until he was 18m but it wasn’t often in public as I was back at work so it was only the morning feed in bed, would have carried on longer if he wanted to. I miss it!!

    Reply

  35. Fiona Cooper (@nlpmum)
    May 27, 2011 @ 10:06:44

    Great post Jane. Sometimes though, I just don’t want to be told how I should be doing it…. specially when it’s my hubby telling me and I know he’s right. I fed my lo until he was gone 2 – I wish I’d had a spare hand to take photos of some of the looks of disgust 😉

    Reply

  36. Tilly
    May 27, 2011 @ 13:27:07

    Don’t you just want to clobber people like that. I’m afraid I’d have given them a piece of my mind and possibly the finger too!!! I fed both Nipper and Tiddler till 16 months by which time both of us were ready to move on.
    I’m getting similarly irritating and interfering remarks now regarding Nipper’s autism and associated problems. The lot of them can go hang!

    Reply

  37. Isil
    May 31, 2011 @ 19:43:35

    Great post! I bf my 17 month old son and last week someone at the playgroup was surprised that I STILL feed him.
    I was being polite so didn’t tell her I am STILL breastfeeding my 4.5 years old 🙂 I want mine to self wean when they are ready.
    I suppose, when you continue bfing past 6 months, you need to pretend to be deaf and keep going as long as you want to.

    Reply

  38. Janet Chadwick
    Jun 02, 2011 @ 10:23:47

    I got it from my MIL since my son was 4 months. 2 years later, I was still feeding, and just gave it up recently, because I’m pregnant with a high risk child, so decided to let my body pass the goodness onto the fetus, and cuddle my son instead. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be to wean, and I’m so proud to have been able to feed him for 2 years 5 months. My attitude was this: I have studied and researched and made an informed decision about why breastfeeding is excellent for children, and even the WHO says to do it till AT LEAST 2. If you spent as much time educating yourself as you currently do judging me, you’d at least learn something constructive.

    Reply

  39. Mel (MilkChic)
    Jun 20, 2011 @ 10:37:23

    So right. I am feeding a 22 month old now and it is none of anyone else’s business. She is healthy, intelligent and independent. The same family members who hint that it might be time to stop soon are the first to tell me that it’s cruel to withhold it when she’s hurt herself or tired, so I’m guessing they do see the benefits really,

    Reply

  40. mum2babyinsomniac
    Jun 21, 2011 @ 15:08:29

    People need to mind their own business! You should have squirted milk at them 😉

    Reply

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Copyright © Jane Blackmore and Northernmum, 2010-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane Blackmore and Northernmum with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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