Christ what a knob

I have been tagged by the lovely Tara Cain over at Sticky Fingers and Kirsten at Gone Bananas

 I have to answer a selection of Q and As from The Guardian Weekend magazine and then I can be categorised into either the ‘yeah you seem like a nice person, I’d go for a pint with youers’ or the ‘Christ what a KNOB! LISTEN TO YOURSELFers!’

 Why do I get a bad feeling about this……

 Which living person do you most admire, and why?

Nice easy one to start then.  It is going to simply have to be my mother; she is filled with an ability to see the best in everyone and cannot do enough for friends, family, and strangers.  She is incapable of saying a bad word against someone and has lots of other admirable qualities that sadly did not pass down in the gene pool.

 When were you happiest?

 When my babies arrived I found a whole new world of happy to play in.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Flipping heck; my life is full of them and I tend to spiral from one to the next without hesitation; it could be when I played the lead in Grease at 16 and my dress split open during a rather tuneful rendition of ‘Hopelessy Devoted to You. ‘

 The bowel popping incident is also ranked quite highly on my embarrassment list and most days Twin boy manages to find a new way to shame me. 

It’s no good; I can’t choose one should you wish to know more visit the blog I name and shame myself frequently here.

 Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? 

This is a little dull, I bought a brand new Ford Ka once and drove it straight off the forecourt.  It smelt delicious and it was clean; so so clean.  It was all a little short lived as shortly after purchasing  it, my relationship broke up and I had to move into solo accommodation and my cost of living skyrocketed which meant the car went and the bus became my new means of transport.  Ironically the relationship repaired itself and the plaster is still sticking as we are married and now we drive a cheaper car which smells like raisins, nappies and quite often sick.

What is your most treasured possession?

My photos and books, I have hundreds of them both.  I am an old-fashioned photographer as well I like to keep them in albums, on a shelf…

 Where would you like to live?

Back t’up north with my family.  I love the South but since my children arrived I have a strange longing to be closer to my own family and community and I am sorry but it is friendlier north of Watford Gap.

What’s your favourite smell?

Had I not got rid of the Ka……

Nope it will still be the soft aroma of BB wrapped in a fresh towel straight after bathtime.

Who would play you in the film of your life?

Well it would have to be someone who resembled me so no point getting Kiera Knightly in.  I think a young Jennifer Anniston bears a pretty strong resemblance to me now so she will do. 

What is your favourite book?

If I am trying to come off as intelligent and well read I would have to say ‘I know why the caged bird sings’ by Maya Angelou.  However that is knocked into second ranking by my real favourite book; ‘Folk of the Faraway Tree’ by Enid Blyton.  I have a girl crush on Moon Face. 

What is your most unappealing habit?

I pick my lips till they bleed. 

I also fart when running.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice? 

Anything from a period drama, with a corset, a really tight corset. 

What is your earliest memory?

Laying in my cot whilst my twin brothers walked around it chanting ‘trumper, trumper’ I was about two, I had been weaned on baked beans.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

I have a ‘Jane night’ occasionally when other half is out for the whole night.  I order in a huge cheese pizza and slap Armageddon on the tv and weep extensively as Bruce Willis is wiped out for the good of the world.  I love Bruce almost as much as I love cheese pizza.

What do you owe your parents?

A fortune, do you need an exact figure?

Also my good looks,  I owe my ski slope nose all to my Dad.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

To my dog, she knows why. 

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My husband, we are not Romeo and Juliet but I am nothing without him. 

What does love feel like?

Two hands tightly clasped.

 What was the best kiss of your life? 

The one he who helped create them gave me after running my first marathon.  It was cold, wet and windy and I smelt like a dog otter.  I had finished the race and my phone had died and I didn’t know where anyone was or how to find them so I was wondering around in tears feeling very sorry for myself.  Suddenly he who helped create them popped up with an embrace and a kiss that spoke more than words and made me daft with happiness and as proud as punch. 

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Chuffin hell

What is the worst job you’ve done?

Night shifts at a nursing home (aka popping in bowels)

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

I would have kept the bloody Ford Ka.

What is the closest you’ve come to death?

I choked on a piece of chicken recently, husband had to squeeze my middle tightly – have you ever tried to suck your spare tyre in whilst choking?  Kids thought it was hilarious. 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My babies.

 When did you last cry, and why?

Today, reading the route for this years marathon I sobbed as I thought about how ill prepared I am to run and then sobbed some more as I thought about running down the Mall to the end of mile 26.

How do you relax?

I read and walk the dog – sometimes both at the same time.

 What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

A lottery win?  doesn’t have to be the big one just enough to let me spend more time at home….

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Don’t tread on people as you climb the ladder, you never know who took the lift and is waiting for you at the top.

So that is me, now I get to pass this task on to others.  I am renown for being rubbish as carrying on meme so to those I pick please feel free to ignore me but I am tagging you as I have a genuine interest in knowing your answers.

First up is helloitsgemma – I am intrigued to know her most embarrassing moment.

Followed by beauty queen englishmum – I just want to know more…

Then Polythenepram – she is a new blogger and I cant wait to hear her answers.

 Finally the lovely Susanne at Ghostwritermummy – she is a cracking writer and I love her blog.

17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. helloitsgemma
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 21:03:42

    *puzzled face* Cheese pizza I get but Bruce Willis/Armageddon?
    look this whole Marathon thing will be fine, I will be watching on the TV, just think – what would Bruce do?
    You can do it! you can do it!


  2. helloitsgemma
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 21:04:07

    Oh and I would def go for pint with you! hell yes!


  3. Gone Bananas
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 21:22:23

    Laughed out loud at the farty running! Yes I can be that imature! *wink* Some fab answers there my dear! 🙂


  4. Tara
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 21:28:42

    Brilliant. I love you just a chuffin bit more now . . .


  5. eviegracesmummy
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 21:34:12

    That’s my favourite book too! The first thing I bought when I found out I was pregnant as I wanted my baby to have my love of books. She does and I am loving re reading my childhood favourites x


  6. Trackback: Judge me | Helloitsgemma's Blog
  7. mummy@bodfortea
    Apr 14, 2011 @ 23:22:50

    I always feel like a bit of a stalker reading this type of meme lol. Totally with you on wanting to be close to the folks back home. Your near death experience made me spit out my tea laughing. Thanks for that 😀


  8. More Than Just a Mother
    Apr 15, 2011 @ 08:24:56

    Great answers. I think I may have to do this one on my own blog…


  9. Doug Shaw
    Apr 15, 2011 @ 12:59:53

    A fabulously wonderful and hilarious blog post! Very uplifting – thanks 🙂 – I may steal the idea and redo it round my place sometime, hat tip to you of course.


  10. English Mum
    Apr 15, 2011 @ 15:08:47


    PS I like being a beauty queen 🙂


  11. Trackback: Q&A – An English mamma in Stockholm

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