spanked by someone old enough to be my dad

For the first time in three years I dragged my slightly fitter, coated in vaseline and Compeed body to a race today. Half term started in our house on thursday and I needed a break so a twenty mile race cross country seemed just the tonic.

I finished it!

Not with any style, grace or speed, but three hours thirty minutes after starting to run I stopped again with the knowledge that I had just sang and moaned my way around a ten mile circuit (twice).

Now I was utterly spanked by people fatter and thinner than me and I think I may have been lapped by someone old enough to be my dad but they still gave me a medal at the end so in my children’s eyes I won the race! I have done nothing to disillusion them of this fact either!

The last six miles were hilly and a couple of times I seriously contemplated diving in front of a St Johns Ambulance in order to put myself out of my misery. I continued on only because I didn’t have the physical strength to dive in front of anything.

Following the race I paid five pounds for a student young enough to be my son rub my legs whilst I frantically tried to remember when the last time Mr Bic gave my legs a kiss. My adolescent masseur tactfully asked if I was disappointed with my time, I said I was living with it and tactfully asked if he had tried tea tree oil.

All was made harmonious that night when I laid on the bed; smiling like a good happy that twenty miles had been achieved with eight more weeks to go till the london marathon. Then twin boy wandered in swinging my medal in his hands.

“Mum” he mused “I am really proud of you!”

I don’t care who bribed him to say it but it made the pain in my legs all worthwhile!

Want to sponsor me for my marathon efforts?

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liz Fielding
    Feb 20, 2011 @ 22:05:32

    Brilliant work, Jane. Hope the legs are grateful.


  2. Ness
    Feb 20, 2011 @ 23:40:03

    I promise I will sponsor you after payday on Friday. Harrass me if I don’t.
    Well done on today. Great achievement and you should be proud!


  3. mummy@bodfortea
    Feb 21, 2011 @ 04:56:34

    Wow, I’m so impressed. 20 miles! Good for you. Giggling at the tea tree comment though, hee hee!


  4. Claire H
    Feb 21, 2011 @ 09:25:05

    Fantastic achievement, I think I would be so deliriously happy to have finished I wouldn’t have even noticed that I had legs. Good luck with the London Marathon – I’m sure the atmosphere will carry you round.


  5. Trackback: Tweets that mention spanked by someone old enough to be my dad « Northern Mummy with Southern Children --
  6. PottiJo
    Feb 21, 2011 @ 22:08:00

    Wow thats brilliant … wel done you. The marathon will be p*** easy for you my dear. x


  7. Kerry
    Feb 22, 2011 @ 23:29:36

    Oh you doing so well. Well done and how cute is your little one telling you he is proud of you xx


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Copyright © Jane Blackmore and Northernmum, 2010-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane Blackmore and Northernmum with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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